Summer Fun for You and Your Young Kids!

Hey there families! My article today will be a short but sweet run down of summer family fun suggestions, activities geared toward the 6 and under group, most of which will allow parents to catch a breather and soak in some sun (or escape it) as well. In lieu of suggesting specific places, I offer general categories, which if googled in combination with your location- or your vacation destination- are sure to turn up results for your area.

Swimming Lessons- This is at the top of my list because at some point, unless you have access to a pool and can teach them yourself, this is a life skill you are going to want your children to learn. Mommy or Daddy and me baby swim classes and preschool classes can introduce your children to the water and create muscle memories that will allow them to stay afloat (even if it just seems like they are having fun in- or warming up to- the water).
Pint-sized amusement parks- I use "pint-size" here because there is a difference in the type of park your young children will have more fun at- those which have rides and attractions that are their size. I know I said I wouldn't suggest specific places, but Children's Fairyland in Oakland, CA, is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. This is opposed to- say Six Flags. These parks tend to be smaller, and less well known (arguably what you want with young children because there will be less crowds), so you might have to do some digging to find one of these spots close to you, but it's well worth it!
Day Camps- For a usually reasonable fee, your preschooler or Kindergartener can enjoy nature, art, music, science, or even engineering with Legos. I found it was well worth the price of these camps to keep my son engaged, give him practice in socialization, and to give me a breather in planning the activities. Notice I don't suggest sleep away camps for children this age (unless maybe they are at Grandma's house), but morning or afternoon camps are just enough time to do the trick for children and parent alike.
Museums- Air conditioning, a change of scene, friendly staff who are happy to show you around, stroller friendly buildings- these are all reasons why a museum is a great summer destination on a hot or rainy day. There are a good deal of children's museums, but even those with exhibits the kiddos may not totally "get" yet are okay. It can inspire thoughtful conversation between you and your little one to try and explain things at their level!
Indoor play areas- Does your child have extra energy, but it's 100 degrees or rainy with a chance of thunderstorms outside? Indoor play areas might be the way to go. Bouncy houses, slides, swings, big blocks to move around- I've been in ones that are less "fancy," and ones that literally look like they were inspired by a Euro-pop Rave party. Your child will enjoy the freedom of getting to run around these safe play areas. You might even get a chance to finish your coffee, check your email- etc.
Your Library's Summer Reading Program- Libraries really make an effort to offer programs for families during the summer. Your pre-reading child can even get a card full of learning activities they can do to earn prizes. You can attend storytimes, learn to hula hoop, see live music, nature, science or magic programs, and pick up some new picture books to read before bedtime- all for FREE!!!
Aquariums and Zoos- On a hot day, I recommend the aquarium- there is nothing more mellow than watching fish swim with dream like music playing and a Sigourney Weaver type voice gently explaining the details of the exhibits. On a nicer day, I recommend the zoo- there is also nothing better than watching your young children get excited about seeing zoo animals- maybe even for the first time! Even if your child has been before, there is always something "new" to see at the zoo- maybe the panda is awake or closer this time, etc.
Day trips into to nature- Spending time in nature can be such a welcome change of scene! On a hot day, taking a hike under a forest of trees, or spending time near any type of water, is almost like being in air conditioning. From pebbles to bugs, your child will love taking in all the tiny details around you!
Backyard Camping- Do you love to camp but are not sure about taking your young child with you on a camping adventure yet? Try setting up a tent in your backyard- (and if possible, have a grill or fire to roast marshmallows). My young one was often asleep before the sky was dark in the summer- but for the 5 and 6 year olds- staying up just a little later to enjoy the stars (maybe even fireflies) is an experience well worth the perils of missed sleep. Don't have a backyard? It doesn't have to be yours! This is something you can do in combination with a visit to family and friends as well!
Music, music, music- Summer "down" time can give you a chance to find ways to incorporate music into your daily routine- to liven up indoor play on a rainy day, for soothing, for long car rides. Attend live music events, and find music (and other media) you both enjoy- (see my previous blog posts for suggestions on this)!

As a parent and teacher I know (and I know that you know) there are many activities for your young children, but maybe, depending on the day, it can be more difficult get motivated or to get out and about. My hope is that lists like this can inspire ideas (and perhaps bravery), and allow you to do more than you might have thought you could do. You can do it! We are our children's superheroes! Next week I'll write more on that topic- parents overcoming obstacles to provide the very best they can for their young children. Stay tuned!

Using Music to Soothe Young Children- Part II

Hi there- and happy father's day (video of a father soothing a baby with music)! Today I'm going to conclude my talk about using music to soothe young children. Most of what I will share today is the result of asking preschool teachers (through Facebook teacher's groups) what music they use during nap time. Their answers were interesting to me because most of the studies that I've seen on the effects of music on young children are done on babies in controlled hospital environments. Many also focus on the beneficial effects of the mother's voice. Preschoolers are older, may not nap anymore at home, and are away from their home environment and access to familiar voices- they are arguably more difficult to settle than babies at times. However, any preschool teacher will tell you that a quiet rest time is necessary- usually from around 1-3pm each day. It speaks to the genuine power of music to soothe- even if it's recorded, not sung live or by the parents- that it is universally used for nap time by preschool teachers.

Soothing music creates the quiet rest environment so necessary for these youngsters, and many of the preschool teachers that responded to my query swear by certain recordings. They use the same ones year after year because they observe the beneficial effect the music has on helping their students nap. They wear out CDs- purchase new ones- or search for it online- because it's so essential to their nap time. After having having been present at many a nap time over the years, I can understand why a teacher would appreciate such a useful tool, and want to use it time and again. Remember preschoolers are experiencing so much by way of cognitive and social development- having some time to rest and recharge during the day can help those young minds cope and make it to the end of the day as happy campers. 

When sharing their nap time music, most teachers also commented on their own experience with the music as well. Was it something they could tolerate listening to over and over again? Some teachers shared that they had a few different types of music they played for variety- but that they all had a similar effect. A teacher with many, many years of experience shared that in lieu of her usual lullaby recordings, she was playing the relaxing instrumental music she had found that was on her favorite TV show instead (When Calls the Heart- the instrumental version of Christina Perri's A Thousand Years), and was happy with the results. With so many options, albums and ways to listen online, as you'll see below, whatever your musical tastes, finding something that will work for both you and child or children is easier than ever. 

Teacher Recommended Albums-

Rockabye- Lullaby Renditions of your Favorite Band

Jewel Lullabies

Return to Pooh Corner- Kenny Loggins

Putamayo World Lullabies

Fisher Price Lullaby Playlist- Dreamy Renditions of Today's Hits

Fisher Price Christmas Lullabies

Classical Piano Music with Ocean Sounds

Laurie Berkner Lullabies

Sleepy in Seattle

Baby Lullaby- Relaxing Piano Lullabies- Einstein Baby Lullaby Academy

Lullaby River

Teacher Recommended Online Streaming (YouTube, Spotify, Pandora, Apple Music, IHeart Radio, Online Radio)*- 

Search for these artists or types of music- Preschool Nap Time, Lullaby, Delta Wave, Meditation or Spa, Disney Lullaby, Disney Instrumental, Native American Flute, Enya, Piano Guys, Gregorian Chant, Relaxing Music for Deep Sleep, Coral Reef Aquarium Collection, Mindful Kids, Quiet Guitar, Violin or Harp, Brahms's Lullaby for Babies, Caribbean Steel Drums, Jack Johnson (lullabies), George Winston (piano), John Tesh (piano), Marconi Union, Ludovico Einaudi

Classic Radio (online streaming)

Star Wars Piano

Before I go, I wanted to give you a list of some other links to check out. These are artists and projects I recommend learning more about if you are interested in soothing music for children and families, including music in Spanish! Tune in next week for my article on early learning adventures to do during the summer!

Vered 

Sing to your Baby or Cantale a tu bebe 

La Luna- 123 Andres

The Lullaby Project

*I recommend finding something that doesn't have ads (they can startle).

Using Music to Soothe Young Children- Part I

To prepare for my article this week, I asked other parents, teachers, and musicians- what is the best music to soothe children ages 6 and under? I got a terrific response with a lot of input, so for today's article, I'll talk a bit about why music has the power to soothe, give a few examples, and next week I'll go more into the great variety of options you have to play or sing to children. So- why does music have the power to calm children down? Scientists are still making theories about how lullabies evolved- here is some of what science has shown us:*

• Babies know and respond to their mother's voice, even before they are born.
• Lullabies can lower heart rate, increase blood oxygen and sucking response, and release pain-coping endorphins for the baby, particularly if sung by the mother.
• Recorded, soothing music can have a similar effect, but live music has been shown to be more effective, even if it isn't sung by the mother.

Before we go any further- what is a lullaby? A lullaby is defined as a soothing song or a piece of music that is usually played for children. The articles to which I refer you will tell you most lullabies are in 6/8 meter, which is not necessarily the case, but they are songs to which you can rock your baby, if not every 3 beats, then every 2 beats. They are songs that replicate the rhythm of both mom's heartbeat, and of being rocked while mom walked with baby in the womb. A heartbeat at rest is around 60 beats per minute, the same as one per second, and that is also around the speed that the baby can be rocked to a lullaby. Lullabies have been argued to be one of the earliest forms of both music and language, and are at their most primal form sung by a single voice- that of the mother being the most prevalent throughout human development.

Lullabies also reflect a daily rhythm- they are part of a routine for daily care which includes (hopefully) a nap time, and promotes learning a regular, daily bedtime. A lullaby taken out of context may not have the same effect that it would have at the time of day that the body is becoming accustomed to calming down. However, soothing music can be introduced at other times of day as well- early childhood teachers routinely do this to promote smooth transitioning to different activities throughout the day.

Traditional lullabies also give us a glimpse at what it has been like to be a mother over the ages. The words to traditional lullabies can be pretty tragic, and more reflective of the mother coping with sadness and strain taking care of one or many children in a world of peril. The best lullabies can help soothe both the adult caregiver and the baby- a win win for the promotion of our species for sure. 

For examples, I'll start with my own lullaby story, which is so simple but a good example of what both music and consistency can do. I sang, from birth to about age six, to my son, "All the Pretty Little Horses," (a modified version, without the part about butterflies and bees), at nap time and bedtime, every day. I found the lullaby in a book I had been given, and I just really liked the melody. Always the same- I kept singing it, over and over, until he went to sleep. When he was very young, I would sing it to him in a rocking chair or a swing as he rocked. When he was older, he would lie in bed and I would sit by him and sing. It was the final part of a bedtime routine, dinner, bath, reading, song. I would sing, and he would always go to sleep- no matter how crazy our day had been, (believe me we had some doozies), or how sick he might have felt, it might've taken a little longer on some days- but it always worked.

Parents who responded to my original inquiry had similar reports of finding something that worked well- but slightly different stories about how they found the songs. Some reported singing a lullaby they remembered parents singing to them. Some introduced lullabies later that were the result of the child's preference after having seen children's television shows, and some made up their own lullabies. And speaking of the totally made up ones- I had several musician/teacher/parents share their original, soothing music with me. You can link to find out more about their work below.** (I also included a link to my original songs that are more on the soothing side).

Lullabies and soothing music are some of the oldest types of music and communication known to us. We are wired for this type of music to speak to us- to tell us everything will be ok. That's a message we all need, young and old alike! To incorporate more soothing music into your daily routine, I suggest picking three selections to try and sticking with the one that seems like it works the best. If you don't sing normally, try singing (or even humming) with a recording first until you get the hang of the song. You can do it! More on the plethora of soothing music choices next week!

*

The Science of Lullabies- Baby Care- Pregnancy & Newborn Magazine

Why do lullabies work?- HowStuffWorks

Lullabies May Be a Product of Battle Between Parents and Babies- Inside Science

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Patricia Shih, Lovabyes: Gentle Songs for Gentle Children (Amazon link)
Gari Stein, Little-folks-music.com Gari suggests a simple verse to the tune of "Go Tell Aunt Rhody." 

Hush little (children) (3)

It's time to go to sleep.

The (chickens) are sleeping

They do not make a peep. (These words can be substituted).

Jean Young, teacher- Jean suggests an easy and soothing song she wrote:

It's time for bed, it's time for sleep.

It's time for (bunnies) and breathing deep.

Mmm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm

(wiggling nose as you hum)

So close your eyes and go to sleep. (You can change animals and movements).
Liz Hannan, teacher- Liz suggests using simple, mi, re, do, melody patterns, sung or played on a Wuyou drum, Harmony Grisman's "Breathing Peace," and Betsy Rose's "I Am Breathing."

Brook Packard, www.sleepytimeclub.com Brook suggests playing a pentatonic flute.

Kari Kovick, www.heartofthechildmusic.com Kari recommends, "It's You I Like," and "Calm Down."

Alison Cromie, www.alisoncromie.com Alison recommends, "Hush Now My Baby."

Dorothy Cresswell, DorothyCresswell.org Dorothy recommends "Morning Winds," "Aria: A Lullaby," "Mary Manatee,""Swift River Paddling Song," "Dreams, Dreams," and "Home is Where the Heart Is."

Stuart Stotts, Stuartstotts.com Stuart recommends, "Sing Through the Storm."

Pam Donkin, PamDonkin.com Pam recommends the "Water Cycle Song," "Planting the Seeds of Love," and "Say Goodnight."

Scott Kepnes, (Facebook Page) Scott suggests relaxing guitar or drumming.

Margot Bevington Lullaby & Swinging

Fussiness in Early Learning

As we have been discussing, early learning is an important part of any child's development, but there will be moments, days, (even longer periods of time) when it seems as if your child is too fussy, crabby, or (or insert other descriptive here), to be learning anything. As I write this article today, my now nine year old is busy more or less entertaining himself. My days of dealing with a young child (6 and under) at home have been over for a while. And while part of my daily teaching duties continues to be the supervision of young children, I have at least had a good breather at home in this area.

I'm letting you in on these details for a couple of reasons- to let you know that my experience in this area is more as a parent and teacher and less as a medical expert- (if you have concerns about fussiness for your own child, pediatricians are an excellent resource*)- and to let you know that you and your child will survive this period of development. (Reread those last ten words as much as needed- believe me, I've been there**). All this being said, here are a few tips for both preventing fussiness and dealing with it as it happens.

1. Make sure all basic needs are met- Every trained teacher knows about Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It's basically a model to show that basic needs like food, water, general health, love, should be met first before less essential needs, like the need to be stimulated intellectually for instance. So if your young child is fussing, check to make sure all those basic needs are met, and you'll most likely get to the bottom of it.
2. Establish a predictable routine- One of the major needs described by Maslow is safety. We all need to feel safe, and a predictable routine can help provide a sense of safety for young ones. Try to establish a daily pattern that is similar every day- wake up times, meal times, nap times, bed times, even screen and play times. As a music person, I suggest using songs to let children know what it will be time for next as well. For early learning, the best time of day for young ones is the morning, so try to schedule classes or playgroups for that time if possible.
3. Try one of these methods of soothing/behavior incentives- The younger a child is, the more you'll want to soothe (swaddle, hold, rock, sing), and the older a child is, the more you'll want to give them a chance to practice deciding how they want to behave (using their developing cortex, which allows for this function). So read through this list knowing that some will work better for the 0-2 age group and some for the 3-6 age group.
Swaddling- If I could recommend one thing above all others to soothe a baby, it would be swaddling. This is when you very snuggly wrap your baby with either a blanket or a swaddling wrap. You can even wrap the baby close to yourself and practice baby wearing with something like a Moby wrap, which leads me to the next suggestion.
Attachment parenting- The idea with attachment parenting is that the closer your very young one is to you, the happier they will be, and the better able they will be to self soothe later on. Carrying your baby also gives them the sensation of rocking, or being in the womb.
Rocking/swinging- Being rocked or being in a swing sometimes has a magical effect on young children. It can calm them down or put them to sleep. If your baby responds really well to a swing, invest in one that has a higher weight limit. Just remember to follow safety guidelines and time limits.
Sing/play music- This is where you get to be creative and find music that will soothe your baby. I strongly suggest singing, as this will calm you as well and can happen regardless of whether you are near a music player or not, but if you have a particular recorded song you find that works to soothe your child- play it. I could talk much more about specific music to calm your child- but I won't here- just think calming or lullaby- or even happy or upbeat, whatever works for your child.
Behavior incentives- Let your child choose how to proceed from fussiness. Help them with the logic- "If you can calm down, we can stay and play a little longer. If you can't calm down, we'll have to leave." You can reward your children for good behavior- "If you listen well at storytime, we can go out for ice cream afterwards." Just try not to go from the bad behavior straight to the reward- "If you can calm down, we can go out for ice cream afterwards." (If you do that, your child will misbehave more often. Why? Because they get ice cream.)
4. Aurally, respond to fussiness, but disengage with tantrums- Talking, even singing or playing music for young children helps usher children through momentary difficulties. However, if your child is experiencing a tantrum- uncontrollable crying fits that start at 12 months- soothing a child aurally is often unhelpful. Tantrums are the result of a developing brain being on overload. Disengaging with a tantrum lets your child know that it's not a good way to get attention at least. Let your child know they are having a tantrum, and they need space to let it pass away from other people because it is unpleasant. Take them to a quiet place, be present until it passes, try not to pass further judgement on the matter, or worse yet- let other people pass judgement- then move on- try a change of scene perhaps.
5. Try a change of scene- Going for a drive or walk- or better yet, a drive to a peaceful place, then a walk, was really effective with my son. Driving for a bit often resulted in a short nap, then the walk afterwards, often out on a trail in California's East Bay, was pleasant for both of us!

You'll hear this a lot- "Every child is different," and it's true! What works to soothe or motivate one child may not work for another one. Trial and error may be necessary until you find something that works. In addition, please always remember to take care of yourself as well! Give yourself a "time out-" make time to recharge and be ready to cope through the next day. Always remember, you have the advantage- a mature, reasoning, fully developed brain, one that can help usher your young one to be a reasonable adult later on. It will happen! Listed below are some books by medical experts that have helped me in how to deal with my son's more fussy moments- check them out! And because I didn't get a chance to talk much this time about music that will calm young children, that will be the subject of next week's article- stay tuned!

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Happiest Baby on the Block, Harvey Karp, M.D. (Bantam, Updated Edition, 2015)
Happiest Toddler on the Block, Harvey Karp, M.D. (Bantam, Revised Edition, 2008)
Touchpoints, Baby to Three, T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. (De Capo Lifelong Books, Revised Edition, 2006)
Touchpoints, Three to Six, T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. (De Capo Lifelong Books, Revised Edition, 2002)

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