Saturday, November 9, 2024

Helping Students With "Get What You Get and Don't Throw a Fit" in Preschool Music Class


Looking at these rainbow colored movement scarves drying after a routine washing reminded me of some teachable moments I leaned into recently. This year I am working with many new preschool and toddler classrooms. In our initial work with differently colored egg shakers, bean bags, and scarves, we encountered some discord.


I hand students these materials from a bag, and it’s a “get what you get” kind of situation. Some teachers and parents may be familiar with the saying, “Get what you get, and don’t throw a fit!” I prefer saying something like, “All the colors are so beautiful!” or “All of the [materials] work the same!”


However some students had trouble with this. They had zeroed in on a particular color and felt they should receive that color. When this didn’t happen, one student complained loudly, and when she realized nothing would change, she threw her beanbag across the circle. Others also expressed outrage, but then begrudgingly settled in with the color they had. Still others decided to give it right back to me and not to participate. And, yes, a couple students had tantrums. (Not all in the same class, thankfully).


If we zoom out a bit from this scenario, we can make several connections to typical human behaviors. A big one that jumps out at me is a sense of entitlement, that expectation that if we express a desire for something, that wish is likely to be filled. I don’t enjoy seeing students have tantrums, but I know there is a reason teachers consistently enforce avoiding individual wish fulfillment in group situations like this. Students need to learn that it’s okay to have an outcome that is not their preference, and be able to accept an outcome that reflects fairness and the needs of others (not enough time or colors to give everyone their preference).


Another parallel I see is the tendency to get so emotionally invested in a personal preference as to believe that your preference is the best, and that all others are inferior. We descend very quickly into a dicey area of intolerance if we believe certain colors are better than others. That isn’t to say that we can’t have a favorite color. We can make individual choices that reflect our preference- such as clothing or artistic choices. However, we can’t impose our preference at the hindrance of others in a group situation, causing them harm or injustice.


Again, if we take a broader view of human behavior, things would seem unfair and out of balance if individuals were rewarded for throwing tantrums and expressing intolerance, unaware of the needs of others. You wanted the red egg? Okay here it is for you. (I would need to take someone else’s red egg and give it to the student throwing the tantrum). This dynamic doesn’t change whether it’s one person throwing a fit, or many. Discontent is easily felt and spread, especially if we give in to a lack of empathy.

Until age 6, a young child’s brain hasn’t developed the cerebral cortex enough to show true empathy without the support of their caregivers. (This process continues until age 25, but with less and less support required). However, by helping students practice tolerance and empathy now, we'll hopefully prepare them to continue being tolerant and empathetic in the future!


So... let’s zoom back in. (I know, I got a little metacognitive there). Here’s what I did to help my students- and what you can do! I’m hoping this is accessible for you to try as well. However, this is just one idea! I would love to hear your ideas around “Get what you get, and don’t throw a fit!” Put them in the comments below or on the corresponding posts on my socials. Check out my YouTube below to hear the songs and see the corresponding movement and signs you can use.


1. I played a game where the scarves became butterflies and visited each child. There was no complaining, and students enjoyed hearing their names in the song. (And I got a chance to practice learning their names)! Before I started, I showed students how to make a butterfly by holding the scarf in the middle to make two wings. When they got a scarf, they did this and made their butterfly “fly.”


Flittery, fluttery [student’s name except starting with a “Fl” sound]

A butterfly flew to [student’s name]


(An adaptation of the song “Willoby Walloby Woo,” by Raffi)


2. I said, “Wow, look at all the beautiful butterflies!” (It’s really an impressive sight with all the different colors). Then I sang a song called “All the Colors of the Rainbow.” 


I see red butterflies, and orange butterflies

And yellow butterflies, and green butterflies

And all of them are gifts of love add beauty to this world

All the colors of the rainbow

All the shades of light and dark

All the colors of the rainbow

How beautiful they are

I see light butterflies, and dark butterflies

Blue and purple butterflies, and pink butterflies

And all of them together blend in perfect harmony 

All the colors of the rainbow

All the shades of light and dark

All the colors of the rainbow

How beautiful they are


For a later lesson, you can sing this version with Spanish words:


Veo rojo, y naranja

Amarillo, y verde

Y todos

Los colores

Estan bonitos

Todos los colores

Todos los tonos

Todos los colores

Que bonitos colores

Veo tonos claros y oscuros

Azul y morado, y rosa

Y todos

Los colores

Cantan en armonia

Todos los colores

Todos los tonos

Todos los colores

Que bonitos colores


(After a quick Google search, I couldn’t find the composer of the song. I learned the song while working in Berkeley, CA, at Black Pine Forest School).


3. Now when a student expresses a preference for one color of the rainbow, I remind them of this song. Students are much more able to not only tolerate but celebrate the color they have. In fact, they express happiness and excitement when they are handed different colors. (Sometimes to the point of bragging- but that’s a topic for another blog)!





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