Back to School "Inside Out"

Today, I'll discuss the back to school process from the "Inside Out"- the reference to the Disney/Pixar movie being intentional. As I try to give you some insight on how to partner with teachers this year to get your school year off to a good start, I'll also incorporate links to articles and some of the responses I got from teachers on social media when I asked what they did to help families who might be having a hard time with the transition.

What I loved about "Inside Out" was that it made tangible our emotions- made them cute animated characters in fact- and it showed the important parts they played in the girl's transition to a new school. Not only that, it showed how all of our feelings have value, even ones that are sometimes more difficult to process- like sadness and anxiety. Acknowledging those feelings can be the first step we need to take to process a difficult situation. 

For young children, those difficult feelings can arise upon separation from a parent. This separation anxiety is normal for young children. Little ones' brains are still developing, and regulating their emotions is not something they are necessarily able to do well yet. Part of their development includes learning to deal with separation- trusting the new adult taking care of them, trusting that a parent will return, learning that the feelings they have are ok, learning how to calm down.  

On my son's first day of preschool, he cried. The second day, he cried. By the second week, he finally started to calm down. I followed his teacher's advice to say my goodbyes, reassured him that I would be back, and then let them handle the situation- which was hard to do because I was working in the same building and could hear my son's loud crying from pretty much anywhere. It helped me that I knew and trusted his teacher as a coworker- but that isn't usually the case for families. 

Visiting the school with your young ones before the first day of school is a good way for both of you to warm up to the idea and establish trust. Most schools have "Back to School" nights, but if not, most schools would be happy to accommodate an advance visit or even a "trial" day before the first day of school. Getting through that first week can be tough- but give it a week or so. Expect to have an adjustment period. Make sure to check in with your child's teacher, especially after some time has passed, if your are still concerned with the anxiety. Here are more tips from PBS Parent to help you both adjust.

Early childhood educators are generally well versed in helping families with separation anxiety. I take my hat off to preschool teachers who may need to help several crying children (and parents) adjust. Most of the response I got when I talked to early childhood teachers online involved the importance of communicating with and reassuring parents. Establishing a quick, routine goodbye and using transitional objects were also suggested. (My son had a DIY board book filled with pictures of people who loved him that he kept in his cubby.) Here's a link to more ways teachers can help with separation anxiety.

I don't always do this on my blog, but I want to tell you about a couple of resources I have for parents experiencing separation anxiety with their children. One is a book you can color together- your child could then use it as a transitional object. It has a place for pictures of the two of you together at the end. You can listen to the music that goes with the book here. Another is my song "Heart, Pencils, and Crayons." This might be a good one if you are a parent that likes to leave love notes in lunch boxes. You could use the song to help start a conversation about how separation will occur, but that the notes will help remind your child that you love them and will be back to pick them up. You might even talk about how they could draw pictures or write notes for you in school. Check out the video of the song below. See you next week for my suggestions on creative ways to help your child learn to read!